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A bunch of bored Pakistani teens load up a junky tap-tap van in search of good ol’ sex, drugs, and rock-in-roll. The surge is working! The gang hits the road towards a super popular rock concert and along the way they encounter the shoddily dressed living dead, get mixed up with some bad roadside dope sold by the Pakistani Dracula, accidentally run over a confused local yokel, and piss-off the Taliban who’ve retreated safely into an Oedipal Complex. Confused? Well, it doesn’t get any better. An anti-pollution demonstration diverts them from the main road and they are forced to travel down a spooky country road riddled with rumors of villagers transforming into zombies after drinking poo-lluted water. After some road trip banter and mild sexual innuendo, they do encounter zombies but kinda just hit the accelerator and leave the zombies in their dust. End of zombie appearance. No, really. Oh, and one of the teens gets bitten. He gets really sick, never becomes a zombie, and is pretty much forgotten in the end. They chalk-up the undead encounter to bad drugs or something. Later, they get stuck in the mud, ask a crazed man wandering the dark road for help, and end up killing him. They split up for some reason to get help. At this point, I’m begging for a dance sequence that never comes. Instead, a burqa-wearing killer awaits them in the forest. Our gang gets chased around, some get offed with sabers and morning-stars, and the survivors come across a witch-like lady who helps them out until she discovers that they killed the crazy guy who happened to be her son. Cut to a predictable explanation for the burqa-killer and voila: dumb horror movie cliché-ville. The only exciting moment was the appearance of the midget zombie. Midget MUSLIM zombie, that is!